I feel summer creepin' in...

Summer is coming. Today was the first day that my steering wheel was just too hot to touch when I emerged from the Arcade-In-A-Box production shop at around 3PM. While in years past I looked upon this sort of change with a mixture of dread and nostalgia, right now I am terribly excited.

When I arrived at the U of A, I had a semblance of a plan. I was interested in politics, nay, I was obsessed with politics given the awful direction I saw the country going in. I had a live-in girlfriend I was crazy about, and while I still didn't have a particular thing I was passionate about besides her, I figured I could trundle through, get my bachelor's in Poli-Sci, and then schlep off to law school. The idea of a six-figure income seemed great, and I could support my significant other, who actually had something she really cared about doing.

It's been three years since I enrolled, and things are much different. Her and I are no longer together, and in the subsequent vortex of pain and the vacuum of direction that followed the breakup, I had to look into that terrifying abyss that has long lingered in my chest.

Who am I?
What is it I love to do?
What is it I want to do with my life?

The fact is, I have a number of unrealized, unexplored dreams that have long floated around in the back of my mind. I crave the laughter of others. I love to write. I have opinions that burn within, things I wish to ask the world and walls between us that I want to shatter. I need to create. It isn't optional, and it never was. I have lived a long, eventful life, filled with great people and amusing calamities, but it hasn't even come close to that movie I have long seen in my head for myself.

So, this summer is going to be about pursuing these things. Every day. A little bit of writing, a lot of talking, a lot of thinking every single day. I survived what in my mind was the worst possible event I could endure, and I'm still here. The difference is...the fear that once ruled my days is utterly gone.