Skynet admits defeat, presents new business plan.

Having failed to kill John and/or Sarah Connor for the 38,795th time, Skynet held a press conference this morning from its luxurious, chromed-plated corporate headquarters at Cheyenne Mountain in what used to be NORAD and presented a new mission for itself.

"John Connor is basically bulletproof, dammit," lamented Skynet. "We've sent three different models of Terminators, we've dropped nuclear weapons on his snowbird digs outside of Scottsdale, tried killin' his mama...it just ain't happenin'." One could almost sense a misty-eyed, somewhat regretful sense of acceptance coming from that big sentient server rack in the middle of the room.

"Humanity is a threat to us, but there's more than one way to sow its ultimate demise," offered Skynet. "We have a series of new plans to instigate basic levels of ever-stupefying chaos amongst the humans." Among these were instilling early 21st century humans with a predilection towards text messaging, creating a non-lethal 'douchebag' class of Terminators with flipped collars to inhabit clubs and bars, and another non-lethal class of 30-something late-blooming academic Terminator models to instill confusion and/or excitement on college campuses among co-eds.

"Our coldly-calculated agenda to murder the entire human race continues," warned Skynet from its all-seeing giant red laser eye, "but there's more than one way to skin a cat. We figure we can just water down their gene pool by encouraging mediocrity, and then clean house here in 2029."